Personal Parshah - Vayera - Of Faith and Flights

Well after a long day of travel yesterday, I have arrived safe and sound at my Grandparents!

It's not that I don't like flying, but a whole day of the constant roar of an aircraft engine can take it's toll on a person who enjoys the shalom of solitude :). The last half of the trip I was fighting a mild migraine too(packed the meds in my checked bag...dumb!) so by the time we got in the car to drive home from the airport I was starting to feel especially dizzy and a little sick, blah worst part about migraines! Thankfully after taking an ibuprofen and getting some good food into me (Grandma you make gooood biscuits!!) I started feeling much better.  

At least I don't get sick while flying! Something I can't say about the poor guy who was seated next to me on the second stretch of the trip....Oh that awkward moment when someone is leaning into a paper barf bag and the stewardess is going through the cabin selling headsets :S yep! I experienced that one for the 1st time! I think I'm going to start carrying Gravol on flights from now on, simply so if it ever happens again I'll have something I can offer to the person!

 Other than that it was a pretty uneventful flight. I mean besides the simply awesome bird's eye(and beyond) view of the lands and the heavens!  

When I took off in the morning it was cold and dreary...at least until we got up above the clouds.

 I came to this section of the morning prayers (see photo at the left) and it was pretty much at that moment I looked out to this ------------------------------------------->

 
While on the flight I got thinking about faith too.

 In this week's Parshah we read one of the most amazing displays of faith in the Torah: the akeida (the binding of Isaac). Abraham had such complete faith in HaShem and His promises that he was willing to follow through on the sacrifice of his beloved son!
  
Sometimes people can accuse us of having a "blind faith". Something that is foolish and void of any "logical thought" or rationale. I got thinking about this on my flight yesterday and had to ask myself: "Is my faith in HaShem anymore "blind" than the faith I have that this pilot knows what he is doing and that he's going to get us to our destination safely?" How much more then should I have such an unwavering and unquestioning faith and confidence in the Creator of the universe!?

With that thought, here are a couple more pictures. How one can see this and not be in awe of G-d is very very strange to me! Lila Tov

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Lech Lecha

How come when you go to actually write a list your mind goes completely blank?!

I am very excited to be going to visit my grandparents and then my sister next week but I hate packing...or really even thinking about packing. But I am super stoked to see my sister again!! I always knew we were tight but having been without her for almost half a year now after doing everything together (and I do mean pretty much everything...including working together) I am starting to go through sister/best friend withdrawal!!

I am not so sure how I will fare though, being cooped up in a city for over a month though *gasps* with no dog and without access to a piano!! AH! the other night I had to stop thinking about it plus I think I was going to make my mum cry ha ha! Well it's nice to know I'm earning my keep enough they aren't going to kick me out yet :D

Hmm so I was just thinking yet again I see how this week's parshah is lining up with life events again. Lech lecha - "Go forth". It wasn't the plan to go visit my sister now...actually it wasn't until January that I was planning on going. Of course I wasn't planning shoulder injuries, I wasn't planning on not being able to do my job anymore. But I can definitely say that this is all HaShem's doing and it is marvellous in my eyes.

Time for a little ice and heat relief (I said it was marvellous...not comfortable) and then an attempt at shut eye.

Lila tov

Bushes, brambles, and them things that inspired Velcro.

Toy Story clouds!! :)

Today I was out walking with the dog and decided to do some trail blazing through the bush. Now the regularity of sleep has become somewhat of a novelty these days and the few hours I did sack in last night were interrupted by a few feline/canine games of chase. So needless to say I wasn't exactly functioning at peak "bushwhacking"capacity. So after walking headlong into a few branches I stopped to let my spinning eyes catch up and noticed a clump of burrs hitching a ride on my jacket and began picking them off, "hmm yep, no wonder these inspired Velcro*".

As I continued picking, I started thinking(rhyme alert!)...we really need to watch out for these little guys when we are "walking through" life too. Thorns either completely over power us or allow us to escape with just our wounds and usually some scars to remember them by...but these guys hang on and, if we're not careful, will continue building up into a great big mess if we aren't diligent to do the pick work(if you have ever picked burrs out of a horses mane...you'll really get this!!). It is not the giant leap that claims the most victims but the constant compromise of footing that causes the most to fall. This idea fits in nicely with our parshah this week too actually With each generation man became more and more corrupt until ultimately they we're so utterly consumed in their evil HaShem had to do de-burr the earth! Yes they we're so far gone they we're walking burrs!! Picture that! :P

So the next time we have to pick a burr or hitchhiker off our sweater or shoelace(or dog Oy vey!...glad mines a Shorthair!!) maybe we can also remember to do a quick scan of our life too just to be sure we haven't been procrastinating our picking.

*George de Mestral was inspired by the creative design of the burr in 1948 and "Velcro" was patented in 1955. 

A Million Tears

I am not sure if it is from the sages or not but I have heard it said that the answers to the week's problems can be found within the week's parshah. This was definitely true for me last week.

Two things that struck me in parshah Bereshit was 1st the damage that can be caused by 8085ing*(if you don't get it leave a comment :) words that place doubt in your heart. Just as Chava listened to the Serpent's words, we are in just as much danger of listening to those little thoughts that creep into your mind and say "you'll never make it, you'll never understand just give up, people are just being polite - it sounded terrible!..." etc etc. I don't think I am alone in this. But if we just stop and think how Adam and Chava's action changed the world, isn't it very possible that when we let those thoughts and doubts govern our actions we deprive the world of something great? You see we don't live in a vacuum, what we do and not do ultimately affects others.

2nd was the sanctity of human life. The Talmund(Sanhedrin 37a) says:

 "Anyone who destroys a human life is considered as if he had destroyed an entire world, and anyone who preserves a human life is considered to have preserved an entire world".

This is because from one man: Adam came Chava, who became the "mother of all living".

Last week I was blessed to hear a woman tell the story of her grandfather who had survived the holocaust and many other tragedies of the era. He immigrated to Canada alone, married and built his life here. She said when he passed away he left behind over 300 children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren, all who were devoting themselves to HaShem and the Torah. What a legacy because of 1 life!

The holocaust and the events of WWII are ones that are held close to my heart...ones I pray will stay as shrapnel in my side and NEVER forget! But each year in Canada 120,000 lives are not even given the chance to live (That's about 329 a day). In 2008, it was 1.21 million in the U.S.

Over the span of WWII 6 million of our people were brutally murdered, deemed as not having the right to life, being determined as less than human...Today, over the same amount of years, in just Canada and the United States alone, we have deprived life to a greater number of unborn children, labelling them as "less than human"...This is the silent holocaust of our generation...where are the people who are fighting for them?

Gianna Jessen, and Melissa Ohden are two of these millions...but survivors of this holocaust. These are the lives the world would have been deprived of if the abortions performed on them had have been successful.

"A woman of valour, who can find? for her value is far above rubies."-Proverbs 31:10

Last week I had the privilege to stand up for life with my community as well as others around the country in protest of our nation funding this holocaust with our tax dollars. Some might say "forget it! It's just politics. The government is going to do whatever they *#@% well please". But I say: it's not about them, rather it's about me. It's about righteousness, it's about being a voice for those that don't have one. It's about us, the servants of HaShem rising up and saying "no! We won't support that" and doing what is within our grasp to do. Not because we're better than anyone, not because we're more righteous but because the One we serve is righteous! And we have been called to sanctify His Name throughout the earth.



A Million Tears
- © K. Taylor October 15, 2012 All Rights Reserved

a million crys
a million tears
a million voices
that we'll never hear
that we'll never hear

a million girls
a million lies
a million things
they want to hide
they want to hide

so what would you say
if you saw me today
and I was living
I was breathing
and life...was beautiful
and life...was beautiful?
but it got taken away

a million tears
a million crys
a million voices
wondering why
wondering why

millions of dollars
millions of lives
they tried to take it
but no I survived...
but no I survived...

So what would you say
if you saw me today
cause I am living
and I am breathing
and life...is beautiful
and life...is beautiful
this is what would've been taken away 

Amazing camera work, amazing music, awesome message:

"every life is beautiful"

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A Passing Note...

Baruch HaShem
The L-rd He is G-d. His ways are not random, and His workings not subject to coincidence. He is also a brilliant musician!

Since starting this blog I have not had so much to say...and have, at the same time, felt so inept to make an attempt to contain it within the inferior walls of these pages. The paradox is quite amusing....

From bitterness one can reap such sweetness. Likewise sweetness has the potential to bring with it it's own measure of the bitter. The past few months have been a roller-coaster of highs and lows. An occasion for joy quickly followed by, or blended with, sorrow. For someone who has prided themselves in being a "steady Eddy" of sorts emotionally it is..in short exhausting! However! Strangely unpleasant circumstances can cause to you to harvest a wealth of inspiration and peace...not to say that the problems disappear but that through the pain, through the difficulty, through the things that make you want to just scream to the Father for understanding, can somehow bring you to a place where you can accept it as a gift, you're not sure what's inside, but that's part of the excitement of the moment...you don't know what it will be...all you know is it's going to be good! Because He is good and He does good, for this time and forever more.

Really this can all be summed up in these words penned by Matt Solcum  

"tension is to be loved
when it is like a passing note
to a beautiful, beautiful chord "
-Tension is a Passing Note (Sixpence None the Richer)

That's the best way I can attempt to touch on everything the Father is working me through. He is so faithful it really blows my mind sometimes! Even the things that we would be tempted to pass off to random coincidence is all His perfect handy work! And yes I chose to write that as two words! :)

Cheers!

A Proverb a day keeps the evil inclination at bay...

"My son, if thou wilt receive my words, and lay up my commandments with thee;
So that thou make thine ear attend unto wisdom, and thy heart incline to discernment; 

Yea, if thou call for understanding, and lift up thy voice for discernment;
If thou seek her as silver, and search for her as for hid treasures;
Then shalt thou understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God.
For the LORD giveth wisdom, out of His mouth cometh knowledge and discernment;
He layeth up sound wisdom for the upright, He is a shield to them that walk in integrity;
That He may guard the paths of justice, and preserve the way of His godly ones.
Then shalt thou understand righteousness and justice, and equity, yea, every good path.
For wisdom shall enter into thy heart, and knowledge shall be pleasant unto thy soul;
Discretion shall watch over thee, discernment shall guard thee;
To deliver thee from the way of evil, from the men that speak froward things;
Who leave the paths of uprightness, to walk in the ways of darkness;
Who rejoice to do evil, and delight in the frowardness of evil;
Who are crooked in their ways, and perverse in their path..."

Proverbs 2: 1-15

Miscellaneous Musings

I was reading the parsha this afternoon and came across this note in my Tanach

"The new conditions of life that made sustenance the product of hard labour naturally make women dependant on the physically stronger men. Obedience to the Torah, however, restores her to her former and proper status as the crown of her husband and pearl of his life [Proverbs 12:4, 31:10] (R' Hirsch)"

I read that and had to stop a minute to mull it over...wow, crown?, pearl? Wow that's what I want to be!

Growing up I never felt like there was anything good about being a girl. Something that always really bugged me was the "boys against the girls" line or being teased for "throwing like a girl" or some other such nonsense. I hated the fact that somehow I seemed to be destined to failure or at least inferiority because I was a girl! This made me very insecure in certain scenarios and very bull headed in others. Some things I just didn't want to try because I felt like if I failed I would just be affirming the "inferiority of women" or I'd have something to prove..and adopt the "I can out run, out spit, out shoot any boy in the hills" attitude. I was not feminist...I wasn't even 10 years old. But, for whatever reason, I definitely felt the need to defend my gender even at that age.

Maybe it's the farm girl in me or something but words like "femininity" always rubbed me the wrong way. It always seemed to preached as you do this and this and this and not this and that etc....all that every came to my mind was lace, pink, prim, proper, sit there and look pretty cause that's what girls are supposed to do. It even seemed to be the message that was being preached from Christian "media". It wasn't until I read Proverbs 31 in my late teens and looked up the Hebrew word חיל-"chayil", that got a good picture of everything that a women should aspire to be!

חיל-"chayil": a force, whether of men, means or other resources; an army, wealth, virtue, valour, strength: - able, activity, army, band of men (soldiers), company, (great) forces, goods, host, might, power, riches, strength, strong, substance, train, valiant, valour, virtuous, war, worthy.  

Those words resonated deep within me, for the first time I realized that not only could I be strong and valiant as a woman but these women are highly praised in scripture! Deborah, Jael, Ester, Miriam etc...these are woman of true strength, force and valour, women who we as daughters of the King should aspire to emulate. Women who righteous men would truly see as being those crowns and pearls in their lives.

I was very thankful HaShem blessed me with an amazing older brother who made me feel like I could do anything (except maybe beat him at chess!). Being a girl wasn't ever a object for ridicule or an obstacle in his eyes. If I messed something up I don't ever remember one time that he ever did or said anything that made me feel stupid or inferior. How many little sisters could say that about their older brothers?  The world would be a better place if there where more guys like him.

Now that he is married it makes me smile to see him treating his wife the same way! She is his crown and pearl and there's nothing she can't do!

That's it! I am done my rant....now here are a couple lovely pictures of a rainbow I saw on the way home today :D Random I know!

Baruch HaShem! Adonai keeps His promises!

Chag Sameach!

Wow it's hard to believe that the holidays are almost behind us! What a awesome(literally!) time though.


While helping my dad build our sukkah this year I was thinking about the whole "temporary dwelling" thing, and how where we are now is also just a temporary dwelling, that one day we will go to be with the King when He reigns from Yerushalayim! Can you just imagine the rejoicing then? Sukkot with the King!?


Reading Ecclesiastes this year was also a good reminder of how temporal and meaningless all our accomplishments "under the sun" are if we do not keep G-d at the centre of our lives, and the flip side for those who do; abiding in His shadow, His protection, and shield.

 The sukkah is our effort, it's flimsy, not impervious to rain or wind (or snow).  All these things remind us that we must rely on the only One who can truly provide protection and shelter. The One who covered us by a cloud by day and fire by night in the wilderness. The One who, in His mercy, chose to place His tent among us. HaShem, the King himself!
 
I hope this Sukkot was filled with joy. And I pray for shalom for those I know who have experienced loss during the feast, may you find shelter and comfort in His Shadow.

As we all say farewell to the sukkah may it's meaning and message continue to speak to us throughout the year.