Dancing to the Rhythm: Miscellaneous Musings

I was reading the parsha this afternoon and came across this note in my Tanach

"The new conditions of life that made sustenance the product of hard labour naturally make women dependant on the physically stronger men. Obedience to the Torah, however, restores her to her former and proper status as the crown of her husband and pearl of his life [Proverbs 12:4, 31:10] (R' Hirsch)"

I read that and had to stop a minute to mull it over...wow, crown?, pearl? Wow that's what I want to be!

Growing up I never felt like there was anything good about being a girl. Something that always really bugged me was the "boys against the girls" line or being teased for "throwing like a girl" or some other such nonsense. I hated the fact that somehow I seemed to be destined to failure or at least inferiority because I was a girl! This made me very insecure in certain scenarios and very bull headed in others. Some things I just didn't want to try because I felt like if I failed I would just be affirming the "inferiority of women" or I'd have something to prove..and adopt the "I can out run, out spit, out shoot any boy in the hills" attitude. I was not feminist...I wasn't even 10 years old. But, for whatever reason, I definitely felt the need to defend my gender even at that age.

Maybe it's the farm girl in me or something but words like "femininity" always rubbed me the wrong way. It always seemed to preached as you do this and this and this and not this and that etc....all that every came to my mind was lace, pink, prim, proper, sit there and look pretty cause that's what girls are supposed to do. It even seemed to be the message that was being preached from Christian "media". It wasn't until I read Proverbs 31 in my late teens and looked up the Hebrew word חיל-"chayil", that got a good picture of everything that a women should aspire to be!

חיל-"chayil": a force, whether of men, means or other resources; an army, wealth, virtue, valour, strength: - able, activity, army, band of men (soldiers), company, (great) forces, goods, host, might, power, riches, strength, strong, substance, train, valiant, valour, virtuous, war, worthy.

Those words resonated deep within me, for the first time I realized that not only could I be strong and valiant as a woman but these women are highly praised in scripture! Deborah, Jael, Ester, Miriam etc...these are woman of true strength, force and valour, women who we as daughters of the King should aspire to emulate. Women who righteous men would truly see as being those crowns and pearls in their lives.

I was very thankful HaShem blessed me with an amazing older brother who made me feel like I could do anything (except maybe beat him at chess!). Being a girl wasn't ever a object for ridicule or an obstacle in his eyes. If I messed something up I don't ever remember one time that he ever did or said anything that made me feel stupid or inferior. How many little sisters could say that about their older brothers? The world would be a better place if there where more guys like him.

Now that he is married it makes me smile to see him treating his wife the same way! She is his crown and pearl and there's nothing she can't do!