Today I cleaned for a woman who's husband suffered a stroke a month ago.
Today I hung more posters with my dog's picture on them.
Today I witnessed the strength of a family, who by G-d's grace, is able to count their blessings mere days after the loss of their 18 year old daughter and sister.
Today I laughed...
Today I cried....
Today I received a tremendous blessing.
Today I fought worry
Today I found solace in the smiles and giggles of my sweet nephew.
Today I was inspired by the legacy and wisdom left behind by a young woman who I did not have the opportunity to meet...at least not yet
Today reminded me of my blessings
Today stretched me both directions...leaving marks for tomorrow
"...in my younger days I pictured my life going along like scenes of a play. When things didn't go the way I planned I felt like a failure. As I trusted in God, knowing HE has known my path all along, I am excited about my future. Whatever comes my way, As I follow the Lord, I know that HE will give me more than I could've ever known." - Julia Weverink
Today the sun shone...but it had no effect on my mood...how could it? If it had been my sister I had lost would I be rejoicing over the reappearance of sunshine and the fleeting of rain clouds? Would that be enough to dull the pain in my heart?...Hardly...on the contrary in fact, it would be difficult not to curse the outside world for it's trite display of cheerfulness when one's heart was breaking.
Within a matter of minutes her life was gone. A life that was given little hope to win the battle that lay claim to her future but somehow managed to remain vibrate and joyful in spite of her struggle.......a life, however, that we are unsure if we'll meet again....Perhaps this is why the loss hangs so heavy on us? The reality of a life without an eternal Savior, the thought of a spark of light extinguished forever. We don't know, we are not positive, yes we are afraid of speaking the unspeakable.
The tears run hot, tears shed for a life but perhaps also a soul....because we just don't know, cause "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink"....I just pray her thirst was quenched before she was taken away.
The L-rd heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds
I like your rocks and trees, your cold clear water, and yes even those long cold winters. I am very proud of Canada's military history as our boys(and girls!) made us proud during WWI and II fighting courageously for the freedom of so many. I am very proud and thankful you have taken a bold stand with Israel in my day, an action that has been tested and remained firm in spite of the political pressure.....I pray that G-d will keep this land glorious and free...and that our *"two subs" don't break down while we stand on guard for thee.
..........Oh yeah that's something else I like about Canada...we know how to laugh at ourselves :)
My festivities so far....
- fireworks last night
- early morning drive to and from the
airport to pick up the folks
- mid morning nap to recover from said early
morning,
- now a couple hours of odd dreams later I am sipping on my
homemade iced chai thinking "I wish we still called it Dominion
Day"
- refilled drinking jar of iced chai and started writing a blog
- probably go get a refill of iced chai and then fertilize my poor yellowing hydrangea after I am finished this blog
The following pictures are for those of you that haven't been or won't be going to any firework shows this weekend.....sorry I don't do sound effects...you're on your own there.
.....This blog brought to you by my iced chai.....which I don't think is Canadian...but it tastes good anyway.
* there is a running joke that Canada has two submarines....one for each side of the country....I guess we don't need one up north cause no one wants the far north anyways :P
A good lie contains just enough truth to make it believable however just shy enough to lead people down a completely different path. Like a great big ball of wax that if only held to the heat of truth we'd see how much of it just won't hold up to the facts.
This stuff really bugs me...maybe because I am naturally a little cynical to begin with and no matter whether it's true or false it may take a little longer for me to swallow....something that can hinder me in being quick to follow truth but pays off in holding out to test the things that look tasty but are just worm infested(a trait that comes in handy if you spend any time gardening too!)
Beware of wolves in sheep's clothing the Master says...dang those nasty wolves...you know they had to kill the sheep first to wear it's clothes don't you?! That's what lies do, the truth is dead to those that hear it because it's filled with lies! BAM!
*Well I don't know about you but I am against the malicious dissection of sheep especially when it inevitably leads to the harm of other sheep.
Test what you heard and see peeps! Kill the wolf if you have the chance or more than likely it will just go find another sheep to open up and hide in.
Shabbat Shalom
Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
Matthew 7:15
*in a figurative sense where the sheep represents truth and or a member of the faith! And while I don't count the killing of sheep for meat production to be "malicious dissection" there are those that would consider it so...and so to make sure that I am not aligned with those of that particular view I have clarified said point!
I don't know about you but there is something I just love about taking something that is otherwise worthless and turning into something special or usin' a little elbow grease on something dirty, then be able to stand back and admire the difference. So you'll understand my happiness when I tell you I finally got a bottle of silver polish and was, at long last, able to clean our silver properly, I never knew those old plates could shine so bright!
As I was cleaning I was thinking(cause you know polishing is kind of a quiet "thinking" kind of job), watching the black tarnish build up on my rag, slowly revealing the hidden treasure that had been trapped beneath...and had the thought "you know, in G-d's eyes I am just like this piece of silver" I am tarnished and dirty - yes! But by G-d's great goodness have been claimed as His treasured possession. And through His work and instruction am being purged and sanctified.
In my humanness I can't see past the tarnish a lot of the time. I can't see the value that lies beneath all the mess. It seems like everyday I am faced with another part of me that I just can't stand. I think "Why!? Why can't I get this right?", cleaning that silver served as a gentle reminder that sanctification takes time, it's slow(but steady!) you can't rush it, after all, would you take a chisel to a priceless piece or ornately carved silver to remove the dirt and tarnish? No, I don't think so, it's a process - layer by layer.
Baruch HaShem! When I fail He is not condemning me so I should just be satisfied to admit it was stupid, move on and learn from the mess up, confident that my heavenly Father is busy at work making this rusty, dirty, tarnished, and otherwise questionable material into a vessel fit for noble use...I pray I will also remember to extend this grace to others as the Father does His work in them as well...reminding myself to look beyond the tarnish to see the gleaming treasure beneath just as He does.
Well it's been a little while since I've done too much updating to the ol blog eh...and since I don't really feel like yammering on about anything particular I just thought I would put up a few photos I caught whist on my regular walking route today. And instead yammer about the rather normal aspects of the day.
I woke up to a beautiful fresh pile of snow this morning
"Pinned" some more wedding ideas on Pintrest (or "pin-interest" as I keep saying :P) for Danielle to look at.
Made the first set of tracks down the freshly snow laden lane way (*woot woot* yes it does actually make me happy inside :) I would have driven faster...but mum was sitting beside me *wink* :oD
Cased a church for a possible wedding location...no one was around so we just kinda creepily drove around the building.
Went to a couple stores, visited a friend in the hospital, came home...
Went for a walk - taking pictures
Looked for old stuff around the farm and found a whole bunch of old milk cans!
Did laundry...oh I forgot about that...I guess I need to hang that up hee hee.
Brainstorming...........uh you know when the weather man predicts a sweet awesome thunder storm and you are like super pumped for it.........and it doesn't even rain....yeah that was my brainstorm :P
Life is short, too short to waste. Too short to be worried about what people think of you or to be too self critical. Just a little something G-d seems to really be drilling into me the last few months...in various different ways.
I wrote a song a couple years ago**, at a time when I was really struggling with this. People's negative words and actions or simply the fear of them drove me into a sense of feeling like I was under a microscope 24/7, with people just hovering over me ready to pick me apart, find some flaw, or take something the wrong way. All the "if I do this they'll think this"-"if I screw this up then they'll think I'm an idiot"-"I have to do this or this otherwise people will get the wrong idea of what I believe" (the list could go on), all used as a desperate attempt to hold on to comfort...however they became just the opposite.
Now I am sure most of us have experienced people who genuinely are "waiting for you to mess up" so they can make themselves feel better by your failure. However more often it's our own microscope we need to break free from. I think I wrote a blog that touched on this* awhile back....and "8085ing" the whispering lies that continually test and try our faith in HaShem's words of life.
Negative words and comments are never easy to deal with but how much more difficult is it when they are also affirmed through your own self negativity? Can anything good or bad survive without the proper fodder to feed it? With all this in mind as well, how important is it to watch our words and actions toward others as well. Are we speaking words of life and encouragement to others to build them up and help them conquer their own fears? Or are we, heaven forbid, feeding the lies? As someone who has recently been the recipient of some sincere encouragement I can't tell you the difference it makes in helping you overcome and do battle against self doubt and ridicule....the whole "where two walk together" and "strand of three chords" thing is certainly true!
The past year G-d has brought me to an incredible state of vulnerability but at the same time encouraged my soul in so many ways, to depths I haven't(personally) ever experience before. Through the sleepless nights when in pain, fear and tears I repeated the mantra "The L-rd wounds, and the L-rd heals, He is good and does good! Blessed be his holy Name". Basically "this sucks right now but I know You are good and You must have a plan for all this somehow...who am I to argue?". There is something tremendously scary(like really scary!) but at the same time perfectly safe about that kind shalom from G-d...you don't always feel safe but you know you are....does that make sense?
I don't know, I guess my point with all these disjointed ramblings is that if our confidence is in the Maker of All things, all those things that I mentioned(and more) in the second paragraph should not be the driving force behind our thoughts, words, or actions. I could be mistaken but I believe the reason why Yosef was able to be so successful was because he managed to maintain an unwavering faith and confidence in HaShem in spite of many 'less than desirable' circumstances. I am sure he felt fear! And you know, I have no doubt he wept as much as the sages say he did ;) but he endured, his faith won the battle and stayed with him as he ascended and descended throughout his life. We should follow this example! Don't renege because of discouraging circumstances, because you are afraid of people thinking you are totally nuts or don't have the goods to do something. If HaShem gave you a dream no matter how crazy. Do it! Dream it! Live it! He'll take care of the details. Heck, look at Moshe, Gideon, David, Sha'ul...and perhaps the best example of all: Yeshua HaMashiach! Some people though HE had a demon! WHAT?!
Okay so this is totally a pep talk to myself too so I am going to personalize it a bit more...I play piano, I write music...but put a sheet of written music in front of me and I sound like a kindergarten kid picking away at a piano...."so it goes F-A-C-E..okay so that's a high g..."....yeah so I can't read music -- but I write it? Okay yeeeeah that IS totally stupid!. BUT I love playing music, it's something that G-d laid on my heart in a very real way years and years ago, long before I even knew what a C chord was...sounding ridiculous and pathetic to you yet? Yep, me too, but hey....right now I don't care anymore. It's the way is! And if history is any example, I just maybe in good company.
So be yourself; be who G-d made you to be. Don't let what others will think or say govern your life today or any other day....unless in a positive way ;). Embrace what makes you different; cause G-d's gonna use it. And never forget, so long as we are special to Him what the world thinks doesn't matter one bit!! Life isn't getting longer, the longer you wait the shorter it gets...
Well it's been a pretty productive night. There I go again, just when I start stressing about all my struggling G-d is faithful to grant me one (or a few!) little victories. Yeah I don't think it was all due to the fact that I was playing barefoot(...I think it does help a little bit though :)
Five weeks ago I had played some really great stuff off the cuff(whoa whoa rhyme alert!!) which was, thankfully, recorded...albeit not on my handy dandy little Playbook, meaning it isn't organized!! I know I know...it is practically impossible for any musician (good or bad) to be organized...I still try though. Anyhooldes, tonight I was trying recreate a couple of those pieces so I could keep "trying to be organized" ha ha. But it is a whole different thing trying replay history...because honestly that's what my music is. It's the moment and the moment is generally fleeting...how in the world are you supposed to get back to the same level of sound with music like that?? I am not bragging on my music (at all if you know me at all I am my worst critic) in fact this is where it would pay off to be just a little mechanical....yes yes just a little would be nice. I think I succeeded though, after about ten trys ha ha, I will know better after I have a chance to go through each one and disparage over the inconsistencies. Oy vey.
The bonus of the night was some flurry of writing activity...which hasn't happened, genuinely, for what seems like forever. I was starting to feel like I wasn't going to make it out of the "desert" then bam! Inspiration hits at the oddest of moments while uploading a piece I had called "Struggle" and I didn't stop til I had run it dry, yep I got a second one out'a the deal....but I am holding back on that for now ;) can't give everything up at once you know.
It never ceases to surprise me that I can be so surprised when the Father brings me to a point of un-inspration..less-ness(gimme a break it's late), lets me pull a little more of my hair out in frustration and then coyly drops something pretty darn awesome in my lap....it's a pretty consistent happening. But hey it keeps you humble and it keeps things interesting. I think I'll have a wig made though....just in case.
Enjoy! Lila tov, good-night....or perhaps it should be boker tov, good morning?
"Do you realize that all of your friends here are Torah submissive?" I said this to my sister as we drove home from our weekend visit north. I couldn't help but feel slightly jealous knowing I'd be returning home to live out my observance alone, at least as far as my peer group is concerned. She is not only my best friend but was my only buddy who shared my faith and desire to submit to Torah. We helped keep each other accountable when we were with our non-Torah friends and could encorage and support each other when we were discouraged about something we didn't understand. So with the reality of her moving almost 3000km away for good kinda stinks.
However, I know she is happy. I've also seen first hand that she will be gaining a great family and that helps. I guess the downside to having strong family ties(unlike those in this week's parshah) is that it is a lot harder to let go. On the bright side I guess I don't have to worry about leaving her behind all alone, who knows where I could end up now! Maybe I'll finally get to move to the Yukon without feeling bad about it (good sarcasm is totally lost in written form) :p ....na my parents would kill me :) (hi mum!) So needless to say, now more than ever, flexibility is top of the list for my "ideal job". If you have any suggestions forward them to my secretary....due to budget cuts that means me.
I have to smile just a bit though. Having been the recipent of many woes of expected and dreaded spinsterhood for nearly ten years (and constantly trying to affirm her otherwise) it is reeeeeally hard to not say "I told you so!", with a huge grin on my face, more than, at least...once a day! ha ha, no, I don't do that but I think it a lot :)
ah HaShem is good, He is bound to surprise you sooner or later! Lila tov y'all
p.s. I know what you're thinking "another blog so soon?!" - Excuse.....trouble sleeping, got a cold and...I am piano-less remember :P
I don't know about you but I am getting totally fed up with all the false information that's being carried around on the back of social media outlets these days. Especially when the bulk of it is completely avoidable! *No Hungary didn't make a law requiring Jews to wear a yellow patch! **No Ben Stein didn't write some flowery monologue in response to a "holiday tree" comment made by the White House. ***And no the reason why your "baby-cut-carrots" go white is not anything to do with chlorine...that's just what happens when a peeled carrot starts to dry out...yeah I know it really blows your mind doesn't it!
I apologize if this is coming out like a Rick Mercer rant on CBC but really! The facts are out there folks if we would just take a couple seconds to check to see if what we are about to "share" is actually credible. If we aren't willing to do that then maybe we should consider whether or not we have any business passing it on to
our unsuspecting family and friends via our favourite social media(which, for the Facebook hater, includes your mouth)....or being on the internet at all for that matter.
So the next time we complain about the "media" maybe we should think about the kinds of things that we are circulating to our viewers/listeners. Lets do our research folks so we can share the good stuff...if not, lets all just shut up.
"It is better to keep silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt"
So Believe it or not it was actually raining this
afternoon! Then it turned into a beautiful "Ontario snow"...yeah that
means it made everything very slushy on the roads but hey, that's the
price you pay for scenic winter pictures.
All that being said, as soon as I noticed the snow coming down I quickly grabbed the camera and got outside asap. I have really missed my "outside time" and there is just something about walking
through deep snow and splashing through slush puddles that appeals to me
:D kinda like comfort food at the end of a hard day...only...um healthier! It also brings back memories of those epic afternoons spent with the siblings. Crazy carpeting down steep hills wasn't enough of a gas for us so we'd spend half the afternoon making the biggest and steepest ramp we could at the bottom( bam! Homeschooled much?!), then the other half perfecting it after each run until...we had either: wrecked it, wrecked ourselves, or actually made it perfect!......and the only reason I said all that was because?...Well this was the perfect kind of snow.....hmmm where is my crazy carpet when I need one? Oh wait...never mind, I am in Saskatchewan! :P
This week I have been mulling over the Parshah....over and over and
over again. Vayetze
is one of those portions that I think my "for further information file"
is just pretty well stuffed as far as it can be.....until I read it
again, then somehow I manage to stuff a few more files into that bad
boy. Not to say that I don't ever get anything out of it or I don't
learn anything. Actually right now my brain is going back and forth like
a pin ball machine gone haywire! But all my "aHa"s, inquisitive "oh"s,
or boarder line "hmm"s are in such a jumbled mess of thoughts and
references bouncing back and forth I just can't seem to write them
down....no matter how many times I backspace and start over again :P
Oh well, perhaps better luck next Parshah?
Lila Tov(good night) and enjoy the pictures, I enjoyed taking them :o)
Oh yeah, and I must give a shout out to Mr. Squicciarini, I was listening to a podcast today and heard you read a comment I made on the web-site during the meeting, you'll probably never read this but I just wanted to say thanks (and congratulations) for being one of the select few to actually pronounce my name correctly on the first attempt, for that I salute you sir!
Shalom ya'll. So today I braved the city streets solo for the second time since getting here last Tuesday!
After perusing the online flyers I set out on my mission to Wal-mart for a grocery haul for the weekend, well actually I am used to shopping for more than two so it'll probably last way longer than just the weekend. Anyway I got there and the grocery section of the store was pretty well the same size as our entire Wal-mart back home, pretty crazy!
On my way back from my expedition however, I had to take a detour around some road work and I am pretty sure that the road I took was never plowed after the dump of snow we got last weekend (where is my Subaru when I need it?? Oh yeah...it's at home in Ontario *sniff sniff*) and somehow my usual enthusiasm for taking such roads was replaced by the realization of the very likely possibility of getting stuck :P....I don't like getting stuck...duh that's why I own an AWD Subaru with snow treads! (winter driving = soooo much fun now!!). Thankfully due to my awesome driving skills I didn't get stuck, but I did miss my turn which required me to drive further on such streets as the one formerly mentioned until I figured out where the heck I was and got back to where I needed to be!
Yeah it's all very different than what I am used to. Back home the drive to town is the most relaxing part of the whole outing. Rolling hills, and trees instead of the drum of rolling tires and crazy drivers who think the use of their signals are a waste of their time. *Sigh*
So that was my "big" outing today, then I came home and finally got my suit cases out of the kitchen/living space in my sister's place and gave them a home in the furnace room >>>>>
And yo! Behold! A feat of thrifty engineering if I do say so myself!
<<<
**Note to self I need more plaid shirts
Well I left my Grandparents on Tuesday, bound for middle earth(well as far as Canada is concerned) to spend the rest of my time away with my sister! I got to fly during sundown which is always fun(and beautiful in a different way). What also proved to be a great blessing was while I was waiting for my second connecting flight they announced that it had somehow been overbooked and they needed two volunteers to take a later flight. Long story short I got a free supper and a $200 travel voucher (good for a year) just for having to wait a couple more hours! Baruch HaShem what a great surprise blessing! With a sister a few Provinces away it will definitely come in handy!
I have also confirmed that flying does give me a bit of a headache! Even though I made sure to eat more this time, on the last leg of the trip I could feel another one coming on, good thing I remembered to put the pain-killers in my carry on this time. Oh well it beats getting sick like some people...no thankfully none of my neighbours got sick this time! :)
While in Victoria I was really hit with a culture clash. I have never felt the extremes of the high class vs the low class on such a personal level before and for the first time in my life I was really hit with how meagre our means really are, and how little we have financially. It was a really strange experience, one that is hard to fully explain. I mean I have always know we didn't have a lot but at the same time I have never thought of us as not having much either. We have a roof over our heads, have never gone hungry, family, friends and so much more HaShem has blessed us with. We have what we need and we are happy.
It was a really really odd experience observing the lifestyle where going on expensive vacations, buying all new appliances, renovating their entire house, getting a brand new car every 3 years, or countless other things like it was no big deal. This is their normal, and I guess that is what struck me as so strange.
It can make a person feel very small if you don't have your focus on what is really important in life and I would be lying if I said I didn't at times feel like a "poor little country girl". But really, I honestly wouldn't trade what I have for that lifestyle. I was so thankful for the experience because it acted as a proof for myself that I am totally content with what I have, and with what I don't have. The treasure G-d has blessed us with is indescribable and greater than much fine gold!
Therefore I love thy commandments above gold; yea, above fine gold.
Psalm 119:127
For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Luke 12:34
Last night I had the special privilege of sharing Shabbat with my Grandparents! I wasn't sure how everything was going to go, I was just praying all day that HaShem would allow me the opportunity to have Erev Shabbat in some way shape or form.
Anyway I made Challah Friday afternoon. Then when sunset came around I pulled out my candles and siddur and invited Grandma to join me as I was going to say my Shabbat blessings. I struck that match and watched the flame catch on the wicks of those two tiny tea light candles I had hopefully shoved into my suitcase 5 days before and began to say the blessing...it was the most natural candle lighting I have ever done. After I finished the Shabbat prayer I felt so honoured to be able to recite Eishet Chayil for my Grandma and wish her Shabbat Shalom.
G-d is so good, and I am so thankful for the time I have been able to spend with my Grandma and Grandpa T. listening to them tell stories of this or that, looking through old(or new photos), or just laughing together.
While Grandma was having a rest I got out for a walk late Shabbat afternoon. *sigh* no seriously that was an enormously "satisfied, it was seriously renewing to the soul" type of sigh ha ha! Solitude is truly golden. And what could be more peaceful than the sea side! :) There is just something about that
twinge of salt smell in the air.
I even dipped my toes in the ocean...okay well that was slightly by accident but hey! >
Really my only regret of the day was that I didn't go to Shul this
morning. I had one picked out but the weather was looking questionable and since it was a reasonable distance to walk I didn't chance it. I should have gone though, who cares if I would have gotten caught in a
little rain, oh well next time!
Shavua Tov!
Sat down at Grandma T's piano on a Shabbat afternoon and this is what happened! :)
Today I was out walking with the dog and decided to do some trail blazing through the bush. Now the regularity of sleep has become somewhat of a novelty these days and the few hours I did sack in last night were interrupted by a few feline/canine games of chase. So needless to say I wasn't exactly functioning at peak "bushwhacking"capacity. So after walking headlong into a few branches I stopped to let my spinning eyes catch up and noticed a clump of burrs hitching a ride on my jacket and began picking them off, "hmm yep, no wonder these inspired Velcro*".
As I continued picking, I started thinking(rhyme alert!)...we really need to watch out for these little guys when we are "walking through" life too. Thorns either completely over power us or allow us to escape with just our wounds and usually some scars to remember them by...but these guys hang on and, if we're not careful, will continue building up into a great big mess if we aren't diligent to do the pick work(if you have ever picked burrs out of a horses mane...you'll really get this!!). It is not the giant leap that claims the most victims but the constant compromise of footing that causes the most to fall. This idea fits in nicely with our parshah this week too actually With each generation man became more and more corrupt until ultimately they we're so utterly consumed in their evil HaShem had to do de-burr the earth! Yes they we're so far gone they we're walking burrs!! Picture that! :P
So the next time we have to pick a burr or hitchhiker off our sweater or shoelace(or dog Oy vey!...glad mines a Shorthair!!) maybe we can also remember to do a quick scan of our life too just to be sure we haven't been procrastinating our picking.
*George de Mestral was inspired by the creative design of the burr in 1948 and "Velcro" was patented in 1955.
I am not sure if it is from the sages or not but I have heard it said that the answers to the week's problems can be found within the week's parshah. This was definitely true for me last week.
Two things that struck me in parshah Bereshit was 1st the damage that can be caused by 8085ing*(if you don't get it leave a comment :) words that place doubt in your heart. Just as Chava listened to the Serpent's words, we are in just as much danger of listening to those little thoughts that creep into your mind and say "you'll never make it, you'll never understand just give up, people are just being polite - it sounded terrible!..." etc etc. I don't think I am alone in this. But if we just stop and think how Adam and Chava's action changed the world, isn't it very possible that when we let those thoughts and doubts govern our actions we deprive the world of something great? You see we don't live in a vacuum, what we do and not do ultimately affects others.
2nd was the sanctity of human life. The Talmund(Sanhedrin 37a) says:
"Anyone who destroys a human life is considered as if he had destroyed an entire world, and anyone who preserves a human life is considered to have preserved an entire world".
This is because from one man: Adam came Chava, who became the "mother of all living".
Last week I was blessed to hear a woman tell the story of her grandfather who had survived the holocaust and many other tragedies of the era. He immigrated to Canada alone, married and built his life here. She said when he passed away he left behind over 300 children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren, all who were devoting themselves to HaShem and the Torah. What a legacy because of 1 life!
The holocaust and the events of WWII are ones that are held close to my heart...ones I pray will stay as shrapnel in my side and NEVER forget! But each year in Canada 120,000 lives are not even given the chance to live (That's about 329 a day). In 2008, it was 1.21 million in the U.S.
Over the span of WWII 6 million of our people were brutally murdered, deemed as not having the right to life, being determined as less than human...Today, over the same amount of years, in just Canada and the United States alone, we have deprived life to a greater number of unborn children, labelling them as "less than human"...This is the silent holocaust of our generation...where are the people who are fighting for them?
Gianna Jessen, and Melissa Ohden are two of these millions...but survivors of this holocaust. These are the lives the world would have been deprived of if the abortions performed on them had have been successful.
"A woman of valour, who can find? for her value is far above rubies."-Proverbs 31:10
Last week I had the privilege to stand up for life with my community as
well as others around the country in protest of our nation funding this
holocaust with our tax dollars. Some might say "forget it! It's
just politics. The government is going to do whatever they *#@% well
please". But I say: it's not about them, rather it's about me. It's about righteousness, it's
about being a voice for those that don't have one. It's about us, the
servants of HaShem rising up and saying "no! We won't support that" and doing
what is within our grasp to do. Not because we're better than anyone,
not because we're more righteous but because the One we serve is
righteous! And we have been called to sanctify His Name throughout the earth.
a million crys
a million tears
a million voices
that we'll never hear
that we'll never hear
a million girls
a million lies
a million things
they want to hide
they want to hide
so what would you say if you saw me today and I was living I was breathing and life...was beautiful and life...was beautiful? but it got taken away
a million tears
a million
crys
a million voices
wondering why
wondering why
millions of dollars
millions of lives
they tried to take it
but no I survived...
but no I survived...
So what would you say if you saw me today cause I am living and I am breathing and life...is beautiful and life...is beautiful this is what would've been taken away
Amazing camera work, amazing music, awesome message:
Baruch HaShem
The L-rd He is G-d. His ways are not random, and His workings not subject to coincidence. He is also a brilliant musician!
Since starting this blog I have not had so much to say...and have, at the same time, felt so inept to make an attempt to contain it within the inferior walls of these pages. The paradox is quite amusing....
From bitterness one can reap such sweetness. Likewise sweetness has the potential to bring with it it's own measure of the bitter. The past few months have been a roller-coaster of highs and lows. An occasion for joy quickly followed by, or blended with, sorrow. For someone who has prided themselves in being a "steady Eddy" of sorts emotionally it is..in short exhausting! However! Strangely unpleasant circumstances can cause to you to harvest a wealth of inspiration and peace...not to say that the problems disappear but that through the pain, through the difficulty, through the things that make you want to just scream to the Father for understanding, can somehow bring you to a place where you can accept it as a gift, you're not sure what's inside, but that's part of the excitement of the moment...you don't know what it will be...all you know is it's going to be good! Because He is good and He does good, for this time and forever more.
Really this can all be summed up in these words penned by Matt Solcum
"tension is
to be loved
when it is like a passing note
to a beautiful, beautiful chord " -Tension is a Passing Note (Sixpence None the Richer)
That's the best way I can attempt to touch on everything the Father is working me through. He is so faithful it really blows my mind sometimes! Even the things that we would be tempted to pass off to random coincidence is all His perfect handy work! And yes I chose to write that as two words! :)
I was reading the parsha this afternoon and came across this note in my Tanach
"The new conditions of life that made sustenance the product of hard labour naturally make women dependant on the physically stronger men. Obedience to the Torah, however, restores her to her former and proper status as the crown of her husband and pearl of his life [Proverbs 12:4, 31:10] (R' Hirsch)"
I read that and had to stop a minute to mull it over...wow, crown?, pearl? Wow that's what I want to be!
Growing up I never felt like there was anything good about being a girl. Something that always really bugged me was the "boys against the girls" line or being teased for "throwing like a girl" or some other such nonsense. I hated the fact that somehow I seemed to be destined to failure or at least inferiority because I was a girl! This made me very insecure in certain scenarios and very bull headed in others. Some things I just didn't want to try because I felt like if I failed I would just be affirming the "inferiority of women" or I'd have something to prove..and adopt the "I can out run, out spit, out shoot any boy in the hills" attitude. I was not feminist...I wasn't even 10 years old. But, for whatever reason, I definitely felt the need to defend my gender even at that age.
Maybe it's the farm girl in me or something but words like "femininity" always rubbed me the wrong way. It always seemed to preached as you do this and this and this and not this and that etc....all that every
came to my mind was lace, pink, prim, proper, sit there and look pretty
cause that's what girls are supposed to do. It even seemed to be the
message that was being preached from Christian "media". It wasn't until I
read Proverbs 31 in my late teens and looked up the Hebrew word
חיל-"chayil", that got a good picture of everything that a women should aspire to be!
חיל-"chayil": a force, whether of men, means or other
resources; an army, wealth, virtue, valour, strength: - able, activity,
army, band of men (soldiers), company, (great) forces, goods, host,
might, power, riches, strength, strong, substance, train, valiant,
valour, virtuous, war, worthy.
Those words resonated deep within me,
for the first time I realized that not only could I be strong and
valiant as a woman but these women are highly praised in scripture!
Deborah, Jael, Ester, Miriam etc...these are woman of true strength, force and
valour, women who we as daughters of the King should aspire to emulate. Women who righteous men would truly see as being those crowns and pearls in their lives.
I was very thankful HaShem blessed me with an amazing older brother who made me
feel like I could do anything (except maybe beat him at chess!). Being a
girl wasn't ever a object for ridicule or an obstacle in his eyes. If I messed something up I don't ever remember one time that he ever did or said anything that made me feel stupid or inferior. How many little sisters could say that about their older brothers? The world would be a better place if there where more guys like him.
Now that he is married it makes me smile to see him treating his wife the same way! She is his crown and pearl and there's nothing she can't do!
That's it! I am done my rant....now here are a couple lovely pictures of a rainbow I saw on the way home today :D Random I know!
When thou hast eaten and art full, then thou shalt bless HaShem your G-d, for the good land which he hath given thee. Deut.8:10
It is interesting that the tradition of blessing God before our
meal is almost never neglected, and in most instances is put above, or
is thought to annul the need to bless the L-rd afterwards. Don't get me
wrong blessing G-d before our meal is a wonderful tradition! One that
even the Master himself kept, but like any "good" tradition it should
not take away from our observance of Torah, only enhance it. That said,
what is the significance of blessing HaShem after the meal and not
before? hmmm...
In the past I believe many of us have probably blown this command off as unimportant or trivial. But the more I meditate on it and try more to put it into practice I am realizing how intrinsically important it is to keep a G-d centred lifestyle. I still struggle to remember to do it though! For whatever reason by the time I have finished eating I have already forgotten, then that's it, the meal is over and I have missed out on blessing the one who fed me! Even common courtesy demands you thank your host/hostess for your meal after you've eaten, so how much more so should we acknowledge the One who ultimately provides the food to begin with?
Just this week during one of my mental laments over the issue it hit me that it is easy to remember to bless and thank G-d for the good things He gives us when they are before our eyes (or in this case: on the table!), we see them, we smell them, and our bodies are craving them, we have a need that this food will fill (no pun intended). So it is much easier for us to stop at that moment and bless G-d for his provision because we have experienced a need and have been provided the remedy. However once we are satisfied a few different things can occur.
1. We don't see a reason to bless G-d [it's gone!] - meaning we don't recognize the continual blessings He provides that are not visible. (e.g. the nourishing qualities that are bodies are now deriving from the food)
and/or...
2. Once the belly is full we begin to forget G-d, as soon as the pressure is off we believe that we are again self sufficient and don't need Him anymore.
or...
3. We bless Him for the good land and for the food
Deteronomy 9:10-14 says:
Beware that thou forget not HaShem
your G-d, in keeping His commandments, and his judgments, and his
statutes, which I command thee this day:
Lest when thou hast eaten and art full, and hast built goodly houses and dwelt therein'
and when thy herds and thy flocks multiply and thy silver and thy gold is multiplied and all that thou hast is multiplied. Then
thine heart be lifted up and thou forget HaShem your G-d. Which
brought you up out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.... Deuteronomy 8:10-14
We see that taking the time to stop when our bellies are full is a safeguard from our yezter hara(evil inclination) the prideful attitude that would like to believe that "I have provided this satisfaction, I build, I buy, I live by the work of my own hands!" Which is not true! Instead we remind ourselves that it is HaShem that gives us air to breath, strength to work, and food to eat.
Beginning with a blessing and finishing with a blessing is also a
great reminder that both in the times when the blessings in life are
self evident (e.g on the table), and when they are not necessarily
visible to us(or have become the "norm") we are still receiving the benefit. We make the "invisible" visible once again by bringing it before our eyes in the way of thanking G-d and giving glory to His blessing the Name.
Blessed are you HaShem our G-d for the land and for the food
I am one of those people that hates extraneous noise, I find it very difficult to focus when there are multiple conversations going on or concentrate admits the constant hum of people vehemently engaged in discussion....most of which that regard topics that neither party understand or hold any real interest.....which is a wonderful segue into my miscellaneous musing for the day....
Lately I am realizing more and more how often we talk about things neither understand or really know about. Why is it that human nature insists on having to be an "expert" on everything? It's everywhere! Commercials, the breakroom chatter, the editorials, message boards and yes some times even the professionals among us, like scientists and doctors.
The commercial says that if you buy "such and such" you'll be happier, save money, win the lottery, or whatever! Coworkers claim to have the answer to bring peace to a country and a people that they have never been too and never were. Scientists claim to know for a fact how the world began, doctors think that a petroleum by product is healthier than butter. And I'm sorry but if your comment under a recent political news story is riddled with four letter words and "government" is misspelled, "expert" is definitely not the first word to come to my mind....but I digress.
What is with our fetish for definitive statements? Our paralyzing fear of admitting that we don't know? We need an answer, any answer even if it's wrong? Honestly....I don't know! But here is one thing that I do know: I know that I am guilty of opening my mouth far too many times to say things that are really not worth the energy it takes for my tongue to push them out (let alone for some other poor person to have to listen to them). And If I don't have a good reason or resource for what I am about to say and can't deliver it in a respectful way....that I might as well just stay silent.
Well I hope that by posting that it isn't in direct contradiction to everything thing I just said! And that maybe, just maybe it will cause us all to stop and "roll the r's" Reason, Resource and Respect through our grey matter before opening our mouths too hastily in future.
Therefore, my dear brothers, let every person be quick to listen but slow to speak, slow to get angry Ya'akov 1:19
Anyone who
thinks he is religiously observant but does not control his tongue is
deceiving himself, and his observance counts for nothing. Ya'akov 1:26
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise. Proverbs 12:15
Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding. Proverbs 17:28
A fool's mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul. Proverbs 18:7
A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards. Proverbs 29:11
A fool keeps talking and talking, yet no one knows what the future will bring.... Ecclesiastes 10:14
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