Emor: Say! How long is Forever!?....

If you've been reading through the Torah schedule for any amount of time there may be a couple phrases that you have noticed repeatedly cropping up. One has to do with the eternal nature of HaShem's instruction and the other to do with the fact that whether native born or not, if one has the desire to follow HaShem, the decrees are just as binding to him/her(the one that joins Israel) as the native born who is walking in the ways of the Almighty.

"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine"

The "forever" really popped out to me again this year...I think especially since many times it's so explicitly tied to something tabernacle related. In the age of exile that we live in, it has become unfortunately impossible for us to keep a good portion of HaShem's instructions. We can become almost too comfortable entirely focusing on the "spiritual symbolism" of them that we can actually start to forget the numbers of times HaShem says that these should be "eternal decrees for you among your generations". Now before you start jumping to conclusions, I am not saying the symbolism isn't of value...as Paul would say: "G-d forbid!" But on the contrary Mashiach is the goal of the Torah!

For Mashiach is the end of the law for righteousness to every one that believeth. - Rom 10:4 

The words translated "end" is the word τέλος (tel'-os) in the Greek which means "goal or conclusion, point, result or purpose". He is the beginning("in the beginning was the Word") and the end - the point of the whole story. Everything is pointing or shadowing him, his work, and character. However we must guard ourselves from the apathy that drives the belief that "once I understand the meaning behind the deed, doing the deed doesn't matter"...for if this were the case HaShem would have said something like: "these things shall be for you to do, observe and keep....but only until you discover how they picture Mashiach, then you can just forget about the rest of the stuff."....Are we so afraid that somehow by doing something that would now have even more meaning to us become "legalism" or "earning our salvation"? That's ridiculous "logic"!

I know the question comes up a lot in Torah study "so how does Messiah fit into all of this?" and as innocently as it may be intended the phrase implies that we have to try to fit Messiah into the Torah like He wasn't there in the first place! And, let's admit it, it is much more comfortable to discuss the spiritual platitudes of the Tabernacle services then to discuss the nitty gritty-rubber meets the road of taking that animal of mine and bringing it up to Jerusalem and watching it go up in flames on the alter(cha-ching!)....not to mention making sure we are fit to go there in the first place....isn't it? I'll be honest, it is not a natural bend for me to make in my faith! But then again, is anything without the work of the Holy One in our life? Hmmm...

I guess what I am getting at is that even though we may not understand how something points to Mashiach, it does not mean that it doesn't, in fact, scream it from the hill tops! How arrogate to think that just because I don't see the benefit that there isn't one? Maybe it's not about me(whoa what a thought!)? Maybe it's just a matter of learning like a child and taking my Father at His word that this is what righteousness looks like, this is what Mashiach looks like, and if we are in Him this is what He wants us to look like too.

Whether you were born into a believing community or not is not the prerequisite, it has always been and always will be by faith alone so that no man can boast. Faith is a gift! So lets not waste it by missing out on walking in what points us(and others) to our Master Yeshua!

Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear G-d, and keep His commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. ~Ecc 12:13

For this is the love of G-d, that we keep His commandments: and His commandments are not grievous.  ~ 1Jn 5:3  

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. ~Romans 12:1,2

And they call me the Seeker...

Well I was kinda having one of those nights where sleep was a little fitful. I did some painting the previous day(yeah renovated the bathroom how many years ago and only now getting the second coat of paint on the door?!) and like all things ended up doing more then I had originally intended. I thought I had escaped without any physical consequences but unfortunately, that, on top of making 9 loaves of challah yesterday kinda tipped the scales. Oh well, no pain no gain right?

I just keep trying to say Baruch HaShem! And make a conscience effort to, as Paul says, "be content in ever circumstance" and focus on the positive. It's actually quite amazing when you start to make the effort to count blessings because you start naming things that you previously could have complained about. For example being unemployed right now means I don't have to go to work on zero sleep! I get to spend time with my dad during the day, I have been able to study scripture more and write more music. Those are merely trite examples however when compared to the blessings of a roof over my head, family I can love/honour/respect, food on my plate, being delivered "out of the house of bondage" and having life in the name of Yeshua HaMashiach.*

So likewise tonight I can actually be very thankful that I was too sore to sleep, because it allowed me the opportunity to get into the scripture. Specifically the gospel portion for this week Mattiyahu 6:1-8:1.

Okay hold on for a minute while we take a detour...I have always struggled with a slight inferiority complex in regards to my position in life when compared to others, especially those younger than me who seem to "have it all together" as far as their career and plan for life. To be totally frank: I don't exactly fit into world's definition for "success"...or even "on the road to", in actuality, probably quite the opposite; no college/university education, no job at the moment, 24 and still living at home, no particular "important" or impressive skills. I have had and still have a tendency to guilt myself for who, what and where I am when compared to others around me.

So back to Mattiyahu....verses 6:24-32 were very encouraging as there always are when facing "uncertainties" in life, but when I got to verse 33 it cut through, so to speak.

"But seek ye first the kingdom of G-d and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you..."

In one tiny little verse it summed up the reason I am not the world's poster girl for "success". When you follow HaShem and walk a Torah centred walk sometimes it requires looking a little foolish to the world, looking "unsuccessful", or "second class" but nevertheless our first priority, and thereby what filters all the others, has to be the pursuit of G-d's Kingdom and His righteousness! Notice it says "His righteousness", not mine, not yours, not some religious system's...."His"- which is the Torah

I am always immensely grateful when HaShem debunks my self doubts and the societal pressures...Now I would be totally wrong to use it as an excuse to, shall we say, "rest on my laurels"...but for one who is always afraid of becoming "too comfortable" it just acts as a simple affirmation that at least for now I am where I need to be.

Well I was going to post some thoughts I had on the 10 words and Yeshua's prayer in Mattiyahu 6 but it's already after 7am now so maybe later.

One day at a time ya'll, one day at a time!
Shalom


* this is not an exhaustive list

Personal Parshah - Out of Egypt I called my son....

Life is short, too short to waste. Too short to be worried about what people think of you or to be too self critical. Just a little something G-d seems to really be drilling into me the last few months...in various different ways.

I wrote a song a couple years ago**, at a time when I was really struggling with this. People's negative words and actions or simply the fear of them drove me into a sense of feeling like I was under a microscope 24/7, with people just hovering over me ready to pick me apart, find some flaw, or take something the wrong way. All the "if I do this they'll think this"-"if I screw this up then they'll think I'm an idiot"-"I have to do this or this otherwise people will get the wrong idea of what I believe" (the list could go on), all used as a desperate attempt to hold on to comfort...however they became just the opposite.

Now I am sure most of us have experienced people who genuinely are "waiting for you to mess up" so they can make themselves feel better by your failure. However more often it's our own microscope we need to break free from. I think I wrote a blog that touched on this* awhile back....and "8085ing" the whispering lies that continually test and try our faith in HaShem's words of life.

Negative words and comments are never easy to deal with but how much more difficult is it when they are also affirmed through your own self negativity? Can anything good or bad survive without the proper fodder to feed it? With all this in mind as well, how important is it to watch our words and actions toward others as well. Are we speaking words of life and encouragement to others to build them up and help them conquer their own fears? Or are we, heaven forbid, feeding the lies? As someone who has recently been the recipient of some sincere encouragement I can't tell you the difference it makes in helping you overcome and do battle against self doubt and ridicule....the whole "where two walk together" and "strand of three chords" thing is certainly true!

The past year G-d has brought me to an incredible state of vulnerability but at the same time encouraged my soul in so many ways, to depths I haven't(personally) ever experience before. Through the sleepless nights when in pain, fear and tears I repeated the mantra "The L-rd wounds, and the L-rd heals, He is good and does good! Blessed be his holy Name". Basically "this sucks right now but I know You are good and You must have a plan for all this somehow...who am I to argue?". There is something tremendously scary(like really scary!) but at the same time perfectly safe about that kind shalom from G-d...you don't always feel safe but you know you are....does that make sense?

I don't know, I guess my point with all these disjointed ramblings is that if our confidence is in the Maker of All things, all those things that I mentioned(and more) in the second paragraph should not be the driving force behind our thoughts, words, or actions. I could be mistaken but I believe the reason why Yosef was able to be so successful was because he managed to maintain an unwavering faith and confidence in HaShem in spite of many 'less than desirable' circumstances. I am sure he felt fear! And you know, I have no doubt he wept as much as the sages say he did ;) but he endured, his faith won the battle and stayed with him as he ascended and descended throughout his life. We should follow this example! Don't renege because of discouraging circumstances, because you are afraid of people thinking you are totally nuts or don't have the goods to do something. If HaShem gave you a dream no matter how crazy. Do it! Dream it! Live it! He'll take care of the details. Heck, look at Moshe, Gideon, David, Sha'ul...and perhaps the best example of all: Yeshua HaMashiach! Some people though HE had a demon! WHAT?!

Okay so this is totally a pep talk to myself too so I am going to personalize it a bit more...I play piano, I write music...but put a sheet of written music in front of me and I sound like a kindergarten kid picking away at a piano...."so it goes F-A-C-E..okay so that's a high g..."....yeah so I can't read music -- but I write it? Okay yeeeeah that IS totally stupid!. BUT I love playing music, it's something that G-d laid on my heart in a very real way years and years ago, long before I even knew what a C chord was...sounding ridiculous and pathetic to you yet? Yep, me too, but hey....right now I don't care anymore. It's the way is! And if history is any example, I just maybe in good company.

 So be yourself; be who G-d made you to be. Don't let what others will think or say govern your life today or any other day....unless in a positive way ;). Embrace what makes you different; cause G-d's gonna use it. And never forget, so long as we are special to Him what the world thinks doesn't matter one bit!! Life isn't getting longer, the longer you wait the shorter it gets...

Shabbat Shalom!

*....yep I did http://dancingtotherhythm.blogspot.ca/2012/10/a-million-tears.html 
** Maybe I will post sometime
 okay did anyone noticed how many "rhyme alerts" I didn't point out in this blog!

Personal Parshah - Vayera - Of Faith and Flights

Well after a long day of travel yesterday, I have arrived safe and sound at my Grandparents!

It's not that I don't like flying, but a whole day of the constant roar of an aircraft engine can take it's toll on a person who enjoys the shalom of solitude :). The last half of the trip I was fighting a mild migraine too(packed the meds in my checked bag...dumb!) so by the time we got in the car to drive home from the airport I was starting to feel especially dizzy and a little sick, blah worst part about migraines! Thankfully after taking an ibuprofen and getting some good food into me (Grandma you make gooood biscuits!!) I started feeling much better.  

At least I don't get sick while flying! Something I can't say about the poor guy who was seated next to me on the second stretch of the trip....Oh that awkward moment when someone is leaning into a paper barf bag and the stewardess is going through the cabin selling headsets :S yep! I experienced that one for the 1st time! I think I'm going to start carrying Gravol on flights from now on, simply so if it ever happens again I'll have something I can offer to the person!

 Other than that it was a pretty uneventful flight. I mean besides the simply awesome bird's eye(and beyond) view of the lands and the heavens!  

When I took off in the morning it was cold and dreary...at least until we got up above the clouds.

 I came to this section of the morning prayers (see photo at the left) and it was pretty much at that moment I looked out to this ------------------------------------------->

 
While on the flight I got thinking about faith too.

 In this week's Parshah we read one of the most amazing displays of faith in the Torah: the akeida (the binding of Isaac). Abraham had such complete faith in HaShem and His promises that he was willing to follow through on the sacrifice of his beloved son!
  
Sometimes people can accuse us of having a "blind faith". Something that is foolish and void of any "logical thought" or rationale. I got thinking about this on my flight yesterday and had to ask myself: "Is my faith in HaShem anymore "blind" than the faith I have that this pilot knows what he is doing and that he's going to get us to our destination safely?" How much more then should I have such an unwavering and unquestioning faith and confidence in the Creator of the universe!?

With that thought, here are a couple more pictures. How one can see this and not be in awe of G-d is very very strange to me! Lila Tov

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Lech Lecha

How come when you go to actually write a list your mind goes completely blank?!

I am very excited to be going to visit my grandparents and then my sister next week but I hate packing...or really even thinking about packing. But I am super stoked to see my sister again!! I always knew we were tight but having been without her for almost half a year now after doing everything together (and I do mean pretty much everything...including working together) I am starting to go through sister/best friend withdrawal!!

I am not so sure how I will fare though, being cooped up in a city for over a month though *gasps* with no dog and without access to a piano!! AH! the other night I had to stop thinking about it plus I think I was going to make my mum cry ha ha! Well it's nice to know I'm earning my keep enough they aren't going to kick me out yet :D

Hmm so I was just thinking yet again I see how this week's parshah is lining up with life events again. Lech lecha - "Go forth". It wasn't the plan to go visit my sister now...actually it wasn't until January that I was planning on going. Of course I wasn't planning shoulder injuries, I wasn't planning on not being able to do my job anymore. But I can definitely say that this is all HaShem's doing and it is marvellous in my eyes.

Time for a little ice and heat relief (I said it was marvellous...not comfortable) and then an attempt at shut eye.

Lila tov

Bushes, brambles, and them things that inspired Velcro.

Toy Story clouds!! :)

Today I was out walking with the dog and decided to do some trail blazing through the bush. Now the regularity of sleep has become somewhat of a novelty these days and the few hours I did sack in last night were interrupted by a few feline/canine games of chase. So needless to say I wasn't exactly functioning at peak "bushwhacking"capacity. So after walking headlong into a few branches I stopped to let my spinning eyes catch up and noticed a clump of burrs hitching a ride on my jacket and began picking them off, "hmm yep, no wonder these inspired Velcro*".

As I continued picking, I started thinking(rhyme alert!)...we really need to watch out for these little guys when we are "walking through" life too. Thorns either completely over power us or allow us to escape with just our wounds and usually some scars to remember them by...but these guys hang on and, if we're not careful, will continue building up into a great big mess if we aren't diligent to do the pick work(if you have ever picked burrs out of a horses mane...you'll really get this!!). It is not the giant leap that claims the most victims but the constant compromise of footing that causes the most to fall. This idea fits in nicely with our parshah this week too actually With each generation man became more and more corrupt until ultimately they we're so utterly consumed in their evil HaShem had to do de-burr the earth! Yes they we're so far gone they we're walking burrs!! Picture that! :P

So the next time we have to pick a burr or hitchhiker off our sweater or shoelace(or dog Oy vey!...glad mines a Shorthair!!) maybe we can also remember to do a quick scan of our life too just to be sure we haven't been procrastinating our picking.

*George de Mestral was inspired by the creative design of the burr in 1948 and "Velcro" was patented in 1955.