A Million Tears

I am not sure if it is from the sages or not but I have heard it said that the answers to the week's problems can be found within the week's parshah. This was definitely true for me last week.

Two things that struck me in parshah Bereshit was 1st the damage that can be caused by 8085ing*(if you don't get it leave a comment :) words that place doubt in your heart. Just as Chava listened to the Serpent's words, we are in just as much danger of listening to those little thoughts that creep into your mind and say "you'll never make it, you'll never understand just give up, people are just being polite - it sounded terrible!..." etc etc. I don't think I am alone in this. But if we just stop and think how Adam and Chava's action changed the world, isn't it very possible that when we let those thoughts and doubts govern our actions we deprive the world of something great? You see we don't live in a vacuum, what we do and not do ultimately affects others.

2nd was the sanctity of human life. The Talmund(Sanhedrin 37a) says:

 "Anyone who destroys a human life is considered as if he had destroyed an entire world, and anyone who preserves a human life is considered to have preserved an entire world".

This is because from one man: Adam came Chava, who became the "mother of all living".

Last week I was blessed to hear a woman tell the story of her grandfather who had survived the holocaust and many other tragedies of the era. He immigrated to Canada alone, married and built his life here. She said when he passed away he left behind over 300 children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren, all who were devoting themselves to HaShem and the Torah. What a legacy because of 1 life!

The holocaust and the events of WWII are ones that are held close to my heart...ones I pray will stay as shrapnel in my side and NEVER forget! But each year in Canada 120,000 lives are not even given the chance to live (That's about 329 a day). In 2008, it was 1.21 million in the U.S.

Over the span of WWII 6 million of our people were brutally murdered, deemed as not having the right to life, being determined as less than human...Today, over the same amount of years, in just Canada and the United States alone, we have deprived life to a greater number of unborn children, labelling them as "less than human"...This is the silent holocaust of our generation...where are the people who are fighting for them?

Gianna Jessen, and Melissa Ohden are two of these millions...but survivors of this holocaust. These are the lives the world would have been deprived of if the abortions performed on them had have been successful.

"A woman of valour, who can find? for her value is far above rubies."-Proverbs 31:10

Last week I had the privilege to stand up for life with my community as well as others around the country in protest of our nation funding this holocaust with our tax dollars. Some might say "forget it! It's just politics. The government is going to do whatever they *#@% well please". But I say: it's not about them, rather it's about me. It's about righteousness, it's about being a voice for those that don't have one. It's about us, the servants of HaShem rising up and saying "no! We won't support that" and doing what is within our grasp to do. Not because we're better than anyone, not because we're more righteous but because the One we serve is righteous! And we have been called to sanctify His Name throughout the earth.



A Million Tears
- © K. Taylor October 15, 2012 All Rights Reserved

a million crys
a million tears
a million voices
that we'll never hear
that we'll never hear

a million girls
a million lies
a million things
they want to hide
they want to hide

so what would you say
if you saw me today
and I was living
I was breathing
and life...was beautiful
and life...was beautiful?
but it got taken away

a million tears
a million crys
a million voices
wondering why
wondering why

millions of dollars
millions of lives
they tried to take it
but no I survived...
but no I survived...

So what would you say
if you saw me today
cause I am living
and I am breathing
and life...is beautiful
and life...is beautiful
this is what would've been taken away 

Amazing camera work, amazing music, awesome message:

"every life is beautiful"

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A Passing Note...

Baruch HaShem
The L-rd He is G-d. His ways are not random, and His workings not subject to coincidence. He is also a brilliant musician!

Since starting this blog I have not had so much to say...and have, at the same time, felt so inept to make an attempt to contain it within the inferior walls of these pages. The paradox is quite amusing....

From bitterness one can reap such sweetness. Likewise sweetness has the potential to bring with it it's own measure of the bitter. The past few months have been a roller-coaster of highs and lows. An occasion for joy quickly followed by, or blended with, sorrow. For someone who has prided themselves in being a "steady Eddy" of sorts emotionally it is..in short exhausting! However! Strangely unpleasant circumstances can cause to you to harvest a wealth of inspiration and peace...not to say that the problems disappear but that through the pain, through the difficulty, through the things that make you want to just scream to the Father for understanding, can somehow bring you to a place where you can accept it as a gift, you're not sure what's inside, but that's part of the excitement of the moment...you don't know what it will be...all you know is it's going to be good! Because He is good and He does good, for this time and forever more.

Really this can all be summed up in these words penned by Matt Solcum  

"tension is to be loved
when it is like a passing note
to a beautiful, beautiful chord "
-Tension is a Passing Note (Sixpence None the Richer)

That's the best way I can attempt to touch on everything the Father is working me through. He is so faithful it really blows my mind sometimes! Even the things that we would be tempted to pass off to random coincidence is all His perfect handy work! And yes I chose to write that as two words! :)

Cheers!

A Proverb a day keeps the evil inclination at bay...

"My son, if thou wilt receive my words, and lay up my commandments with thee;
So that thou make thine ear attend unto wisdom, and thy heart incline to discernment; 

Yea, if thou call for understanding, and lift up thy voice for discernment;
If thou seek her as silver, and search for her as for hid treasures;
Then shalt thou understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God.
For the LORD giveth wisdom, out of His mouth cometh knowledge and discernment;
He layeth up sound wisdom for the upright, He is a shield to them that walk in integrity;
That He may guard the paths of justice, and preserve the way of His godly ones.
Then shalt thou understand righteousness and justice, and equity, yea, every good path.
For wisdom shall enter into thy heart, and knowledge shall be pleasant unto thy soul;
Discretion shall watch over thee, discernment shall guard thee;
To deliver thee from the way of evil, from the men that speak froward things;
Who leave the paths of uprightness, to walk in the ways of darkness;
Who rejoice to do evil, and delight in the frowardness of evil;
Who are crooked in their ways, and perverse in their path..."

Proverbs 2: 1-15

Miscellaneous Musings

I was reading the parsha this afternoon and came across this note in my Tanach

"The new conditions of life that made sustenance the product of hard labour naturally make women dependant on the physically stronger men. Obedience to the Torah, however, restores her to her former and proper status as the crown of her husband and pearl of his life [Proverbs 12:4, 31:10] (R' Hirsch)"

I read that and had to stop a minute to mull it over...wow, crown?, pearl? Wow that's what I want to be!

Growing up I never felt like there was anything good about being a girl. Something that always really bugged me was the "boys against the girls" line or being teased for "throwing like a girl" or some other such nonsense. I hated the fact that somehow I seemed to be destined to failure or at least inferiority because I was a girl! This made me very insecure in certain scenarios and very bull headed in others. Some things I just didn't want to try because I felt like if I failed I would just be affirming the "inferiority of women" or I'd have something to prove..and adopt the "I can out run, out spit, out shoot any boy in the hills" attitude. I was not feminist...I wasn't even 10 years old. But, for whatever reason, I definitely felt the need to defend my gender even at that age.

Maybe it's the farm girl in me or something but words like "femininity" always rubbed me the wrong way. It always seemed to preached as you do this and this and this and not this and that etc....all that every came to my mind was lace, pink, prim, proper, sit there and look pretty cause that's what girls are supposed to do. It even seemed to be the message that was being preached from Christian "media". It wasn't until I read Proverbs 31 in my late teens and looked up the Hebrew word חיל-"chayil", that got a good picture of everything that a women should aspire to be!

חיל-"chayil": a force, whether of men, means or other resources; an army, wealth, virtue, valour, strength: - able, activity, army, band of men (soldiers), company, (great) forces, goods, host, might, power, riches, strength, strong, substance, train, valiant, valour, virtuous, war, worthy.  

Those words resonated deep within me, for the first time I realized that not only could I be strong and valiant as a woman but these women are highly praised in scripture! Deborah, Jael, Ester, Miriam etc...these are woman of true strength, force and valour, women who we as daughters of the King should aspire to emulate. Women who righteous men would truly see as being those crowns and pearls in their lives.

I was very thankful HaShem blessed me with an amazing older brother who made me feel like I could do anything (except maybe beat him at chess!). Being a girl wasn't ever a object for ridicule or an obstacle in his eyes. If I messed something up I don't ever remember one time that he ever did or said anything that made me feel stupid or inferior. How many little sisters could say that about their older brothers?  The world would be a better place if there where more guys like him.

Now that he is married it makes me smile to see him treating his wife the same way! She is his crown and pearl and there's nothing she can't do!

That's it! I am done my rant....now here are a couple lovely pictures of a rainbow I saw on the way home today :D Random I know!

Baruch HaShem! Adonai keeps His promises!

Chag Sameach!

Wow it's hard to believe that the holidays are almost behind us! What a awesome(literally!) time though.


While helping my dad build our sukkah this year I was thinking about the whole "temporary dwelling" thing, and how where we are now is also just a temporary dwelling, that one day we will go to be with the King when He reigns from Yerushalayim! Can you just imagine the rejoicing then? Sukkot with the King!?


Reading Ecclesiastes this year was also a good reminder of how temporal and meaningless all our accomplishments "under the sun" are if we do not keep G-d at the centre of our lives, and the flip side for those who do; abiding in His shadow, His protection, and shield.

 The sukkah is our effort, it's flimsy, not impervious to rain or wind (or snow).  All these things remind us that we must rely on the only One who can truly provide protection and shelter. The One who covered us by a cloud by day and fire by night in the wilderness. The One who, in His mercy, chose to place His tent among us. HaShem, the King himself!
 
I hope this Sukkot was filled with joy. And I pray for shalom for those I know who have experienced loss during the feast, may you find shelter and comfort in His Shadow.

As we all say farewell to the sukkah may it's meaning and message continue to speak to us throughout the year.

Pomegranate Garland

I meant to have this post done before Rosh Hashanah but it got pretty busy but anyway here it is now, hopefully in enough time for Sukkot!

I always like to think of things I can make that are going to last from year to year and is less holiday specific.You can put these up for Rosh Hashanah and leave them up through Sukkot. Or even use them as Sukkah decorations.

They are not expensive to make they just require a little time and patience.

 What you will need

Paint brush

Package of small Styrofoam balls

thick thread or clear fishing line

glitter

a couple of pins and a sewing needle

white glue or Mod Podge*

thin paper such as tissue paper or crepe paper
beads of your choice

I wanted to be able to hang these in our sukkah later so I used Outdoor Mod Podge. It is much thicker than white glue and creates a nice finished seal. You should be able to find it at any craft store, I got mine at Michael's

Spear one of the balls with a pin and brush it all over with your glue mixture. Tear a small square of your paper, big enough to completely cover the ball but small enough you don't have a ton left over, and wrap it around the ball and smooth it down. Coat it again with the glue, holding the excess paper at the top with your pin. After doing the bottom spear your second pin into the opposite end of the pomegranate and carefully remove the first pin you inserted. You should have a little tuft of paper at the top that you haven't covered in glue yet. so glob on some glue and form it into a little bump on the top to make the stem. It helps to dip your fingers in a little water and smooth everything out.

Sprinkle with a little fine glitter and allow to dry on a plastic bag. You will probably want to rotate them once the top has dried. 

After they are completely dried you can start threading them into a garland. If you make a pile of them you can thread them on one after another. However after the finicky-ness I decided to thread fine beads on in between each one.

I would highly recommend using fishing line instead of thread though, just because it is going to be far more durable, especially if you plan to put it in your sukkah where it could get rained on.

Chag Sameach!
May it be His will that next year we will celebrate in Yerushalayim!

Yom Kippur

COMING UP....

The next event on the calender is Yom Kippur(The Day of Atonement)

"Now on the tenth day of this seventh month is the Day of Atonement. It shall be for you a time of holy convocation, and you shall afflict yourselves and present a food offering to the LORD.
And you shall not do any work on that very day, for it is a Day of Atonement, to make atonement for you before the LORD your God.  

For whoever is not afflicted on that very day shall be cut off from his people. 

And whoever does any work on that very day, that person I will destroy from among his people.  

You shall not do any work. It is a statute forever throughout your generations in all your dwelling places. 

It shall be to you a Sabbath of solemn rest, and you shall afflict yourselves. On the ninth day of the month beginning at evening, from evening to evening shall you keep your Sabbath."  Vayikra/Leviticus 2:27-32

I struggle to put Yom Kippur into words, partly because it is such a deep and holy day, and partly I think because it is so misunderstood.

Misunderstood I think because we have lost a sincere fear of HaShem and so just thinking of standing before Him in total brokenness, calling upon His Name (character and promise = merciful, long-suffering, slow to anger etc.) and pleading with Him to remember no more our transgressions and to forgive our iniquities, seems like a terrible thing to our white washed, feel good, "G-d is my buddy" mindset.

Well G-d isn't our "buddy", He is a holy and awesome Elohim. He has absolutely no reason to extend mercy or forgiveness to us. However He, in His abundant mercy, promises that if we humble ourselves and "shuv", turn, to Him and confess our iniquities He will be faithful and just to forgive us.

Yom Kippur is often called the "holiest day of the year" and how true as the restoration of our relationship with HaShem is the most holy thing we could ever desire!

May we all seek to have this Yom Kippur be a day to be cleansed anew, purged and restored to be vessels set apart for holy use.

May you have an easy fast!